Gordon Nomekuz has been farming in this area for over 40 years but this season has presented him with a unique challenge. And it isn’t the drought.
“Darnedest thing I ever saw,” Gord says, as we walk through 67 acres of beans, peppers, tomatoes and other vegetables. “I planted them the same as every year but they didn’t come up the same, I can tell you that much.” He points toward a healthy zucchini plant. As we approach the plant, it becomes obvious what the problem is.
“There,” Gord says, lifting a leaf.
A bright blue zucchini, but with eyes, ears and a sort of tail peeks out from under the plant.
“And there’s more of them. Every plant. All different colours,” Gord tells me, the frustration obvious in his voice. “Can’t sell ‘em. Nobody wants to cook these things when they look at you like that.”
We walk further down the row – yellow ones, red ones, a few green ones – these bizarre mutant zucchinis are puzzling, to say the least. The tomato crop, growing right beside them, is apparently unaffected by the mysterious syndrome, which has struck more than one zucchini patch in this area. Other farmers have reported a similar problem, with many of them resorting to drastic measures to control the outbreak. One farmer, who preferred to remain anonymous, has taken to spraying her zucchini patch with Lysol in an attempt to stop the spread. “I think it’s a virus,” she said. “This should kill it.”
But scientists are more cautiously optimistic about the situation. Agricultural researcher Dr. Inicchuz, of the University of Guelph, suggests that we learn to live with the oddities, rather than eradicate them. “Our preliminary studies seem to show that these zucchinis may actually be good for the environment,” he says. “Tests on several red ones and a couple of yellows has revealed higher serotonin levels on individuals who are exposed to these zucchinis, leading to an increase of both mirth and glee. Frankly, we were surprised.” And although scientists can’t guarantee that these results are permanent, they do appear to last for several hours at the very least.
But Gordon Nomekuz is unconvinced. “I don’t like it one bit. I’m telling you, it’s all these crazy kids and their interwebs and their cell phones – ruining everything for the rest of us. I just want my old zucchinis back.”
If you can’t beat ‘em, catch ‘em. Wild zukemons are taking over Millbrook’s Zucchini Festival on Sunday, September 11, from 12:30 to 4 p.m! A full afternoon of family-friendly events is slated, including the much-anticipated Zucchini Boat Races down Baxter Creek at 2 p.m. A mountain of zucchinis, courtesy of Farmers Dell in Campbellcroft, will be available for carving, boat launching and the Zukéball Giant Slingshot Finale. Remember that the carving table closes at 1:45 sharp so everyone can prepare for the boat races. So come early!
Other contests include the Zucchini Cooking Contest (prizes for best sweet, savoury and kid offering), and the Zucchini Carving Contest where the most beautifully carved and decorated zucchini (with special consideration given for Zukémon entries) will be awarded prizes.
Bring along the monster zuke you have grown this year in the hope of winning “Biggest Zuke” or just come by to enjoy face painting, zucchini bobbing, zucchini trebuchet demos and the good vibes. The Festival house band Relic’s Boat will once again be serenading festival-goers with their unique zucchini-related playlist and this year will host our first Open Mike event. Anyone with zucchini-inspired songs or poetry is invited to come to the stage and share their inspirational endeavours while basking in the fame and glory of premiering a work at the internationally renowned Millbrook Zucchini Festival.
Food will be available courtesy of the Lions’ Club. For a full schedule of times and events visit our site at: http://millbrookzucchinifest.blogspot.ca.
By The Millbrook Zucchini Festival Test Bake Ovens Organizing Committee