This is the first of what I hope to be a regular column where we hear from a variety of people representing different ages about what it feels like to be them. The interviewees will be identified only by their age and gender.
In this world of increasing polarization, it seems to be very difficult to put oneself in another person’s shoes, particularly when the “others” hold views that are different from our own. However, this column is not about political positions; it’s about a view of life. What is political position anyway, if not a view about the best pathway to achieve our life goals? As we hear from different people about what they hope for and what they fear, I hope it helps us see each other more clearly and more sympathetically and will highlight our common ground instead of our opposing positions.
The first column features a young adult. Most of us have been 13 so we might assume that we know a thing or two about how that feels. This might test our assumptions.
Life @ 13
Our first interviewee is a thirteen year old boy currently in Grade eight. He has longish hair, longer limbs and wears a wool toque that seems to be part of the current uniform. That’s where his similarity with the stereotypical teenage boy ends. He usually wears a broad, genuine smile. It’s not a mask hiding some inner struggle. He says life at thirteen is pretty good.
After high school, he has plans to become a Millwright. He has already spoken to a potential employer who is encouraging him to pursue this trade and has indicated he would be interested in hiring him.
His shorter term plans include the purchase of a truck that he has already identified. It needs work, so he is saving to buy it this summer. It needs a new engine, which he has already scoped out, and plenty of other parts as well. Our teenager looks forward to bringing the vehicle to road-worthy condition in time for his 16th birthday, with the help of some of his mechanically-inclined relatives.
In his youth (8 -9 years of age) he was more vulnerable to peer pressure from older friends and social media, looking for what was cool. He no longer worries about fitting in and knows he is not typical, and he is fine with that. He sees some of his peers following lifestyles that lead nowhere- partying late, wasting time languishing in their parents’ basements. His energy level prevents him from sitting around, and he needs regular sleep to help him perform his best, particularly in sports. Performance at school and sports matters to him.
He has worked for others as well as in the family business. He appreciated the instant gratification of a predictable paycheque, but was less keen on the strict structure when working for others. At home his parents often provide a window in which to perform his chores, rather than insisting that he do them immediately. Having even this limited control over his time makes him more willing to complete the assigned tasks. Rewards, while less immediate, are very desirable, and include the use of snowmobiles and ATVs.
He believes his peers are hypersensitive to criticism, even when delivered in jest. He sees teachers as contributing to this trend by instantly shutting down any comment that might be remotely offensive. He attributes his thick skin to persistent teasing in his family, believing that when you are poked by people you love, you become less vulnerable.
There is always a balance between work and fun in his family, but there are a few red lines he doesn’t dare cross. These are clearly explained and are based on sound reasoning, and not random opinion, making them acceptable.
A thirteen-year-old with a five year plan. I bet you didn’t see that coming. KG
