What does God want me to do? I wish I could be like the bible characters, Abraham, Isaac or Miriam. They seemed to hear God command them, “Go here. Do this.” The disciples took their orders directly from Jesus. In the Bible there isn’t any guesswork.
My life feels far less directed. I wobble around trying to guess what God wants. It reminds me of dealing with my adoptive mom. She loved me, and I loved her, but I never knew exactly what she wanted of me. She kept saying, “Whatever you want, dear, is fine with me.” That process was difficult for me because I wanted to please her.
I want to please God, so I ask, “What do you want me to do? Please tell me to keep writing. Please show me the best way to sell books. Please just make it happen.”
I know God doesn’t work that way, but discerning is tough. This week I read a book from the Heartland Series to my granddaughter. In the story, an aboriginal elder speaks to the protagonist, Amy, “When your mother came, she wanted clear answers about her life…Yes and no. Right and wrong…Here she learned to let life reveal itself in its own way … Too much thinking about a result can get in the way. Every new day brings its own lessons.” (Heartland: Every New Day by Lauren Brooke)
In my real world, I interpret the elder’s words through the lens of my faith. As you do your best, listen. Be open to the lessons God offers. Right now, I’m considering paying for a little advertising for my books. Is that a good idea? I’m not sure. I’ve never done that. I listen to Linnea Good’s song, “Cast Your Nets on the Other Side” and think, is that God speaking to me, telling me, “Try something new.” Last night I talked with my neighbour who works in advertising. “Paid ads work,” he said. “Also Utube is great. Try reading your book in instalments. As he talked, I heard God pushing me towards these new ideas. Will I have the courage cast my net on the other side, to try something new? Keep watch on my website.
He said, “Throw your net on the other side of the boat and you will find some (fish).” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.” (John 21:6-8)
