February brings thoughts of Valentine’s Day and love. The Bible compares love to a rope, strongest and healthiest with three strands. Jesus identified those three strands as love for God, love for one another and love for one’s self. Each person makes their own choice about love of God. Let’s consider the other two strands.
First: Love one another. More than a feeling, love requires action. Whether we are dealing with our partner, our friend, our child or a stranger, we want to make that strand in the rope of love as strong as we can. Loving actions are important. The Bible tells us that love is patient and kind. Love does protect, trust, hope, persevere. Love does not envy nor boast. Love is not proud, not self-seeking, not easily angered. Love does not harbour grudges. (1 Corinthians 13). In marriage preparation, I encouraged both partners to work towards this ideal of love. One partner building alone produces a weak rope that disintegrates over time.
Marriage counselors tell us that in our daily lives, the little actions count. We know what little love actions we need for ourselves. In a deep loving relationship, we must what our partner wants and needs. Some may love to be served breakfast in bed. Some may hate it. Some may want the laundry done, some wish for a gift of flowers. For others, affirmation is a key action. And always, spoken words of love and celebration of your partner’s gifts bring strength.
Jesus said we need to love others as we love ourselves. Although easy to ignore, that word “as” is important. Jesus knew that we cannot truly love others in a healthy way without loving ourselves. Loving ourselves isn’t easy, especially today. Competition is valued in our society. Someone always has to lose. Losers are hard to love, especially when I lose. We are continually told we need some thing in order to make the grade, to be good enough.
To build loving relationships, we need to be intentional about loving ourselves. Upon rising each morning, we need to look into the mirror and say, “I love you. I love the person you have become and are becoming. I love your desire to help others. I love your efforts to do your best.” Each day, we can find at least one loveable thing in ourselves. As we strengthen that strand in our love rope, we will discover that it is easier to celebrate the goodness, the beauty, the success in others. Being kind and loving gets easier. Our love rope becomes two strong strands rather than a single weak strand. When two people work together and play together building that love rope, the resulting relationship is amazing.
And of course, I believe that loving God adds an even stronger strand. The Bible tells us, a rope of three strong strands woven together cannot easily be broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
By Rev. Janet Stobie
