February brings the Valentine celebration of love. As a child I learned this song, “Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I’m going to the garden to eat worms.” That awfulness came to my childish mind when that elusive mystery called love disappeared.
Even though I have enjoyed a lifetime of the love of family and friends, there have been times when I have felt like stomping my feet like a child and heading for the garden for those yucky worms. I wanted desperately for someone to pluck those worms out of my hand, to cuddle me close and walk me back into God’s beautiful world of being loved.
Aging can bring us those times. Aches and pains, reduced mobility, memory lapses, all serve to remind us that we need love, unconditional love, that will see us through whatever is to come. We all hope for that kind of love from our life partners, family, friends. I believe that kind of love is made up of feelings, actions and commitment interwoven over the years.
The feelings tend to come first. We call it falling in love – with our partner, our child, our friend – that connection that feels so good. Without the cement of loving actions and commitment, those feelings dissipate over time.
My husband, Tom, and I have had only eighteen years to cement our love with commitment, action and feelings. Tom does extra little loving things that I need. His eyes light up as he notices and compliments me on a new haircut or outfit. He works beside me getting meals. When I snuggle up at night and lay my cold feet on his legs, he says, “Don’t worry, I’ll have them warm in no time.” I make sure I fill his needs, too. I know he needs appreciation, and I offer lots. We are a good team, and I say so, to him and to my friends. I will never take him for granted. We speak of our love every day. We have made the choice, the commitment to do everything we can to ensure that we both know we are loved, from the words we use to our daily actions. And when one of us is feeling down the other is ready to grab those worms to guide the way back to the sunshine.
In the church, February introduces our journey of Lent to Easter. This journey tells the story of God’s unconditional, unending love for us, so strong nothing can destroy it. God’s love offers us forgiveness long before we are ready to ask for it. On this journey, we are reminded over and over that we are God’s beloved children. God continually gives us God’s own feelings, actions and commitment. God teaches us once again how to love.
This year as you approach February 14, think about the people in your life that you love – family and friends. Choose daily to speak the words of commitment once again. Choose to do the things that will bring them joy, and you will enjoy anew your feelings of love.
Today’s Faith by Rev. Janet Stobie
