Common Ground – The Truth about February

“The truth about February is that she is the worst month of the year.”

A.A. Milne

During a recent cold snap I was reading a certain jaded English essayist. He suggested a party game for the entertainment of his house guests. Guests were to compile anonymous lists of their most irrational and strongly held dislikes. Then the lists were to be read aloud. The entertainment came presumably from everyone trying to figure out who wrote what.

While I have as many irrational dislikes as the next person, this game strikes me as a bit too negative. Being of the glass half full persuasion, I decided to come up with my own list mostly of likes with only a few dislikes. Who doesn’t like a good list?

So first the likes in no particular order.

  1. Fake terracotta pots. I use both plastic and fibre glass fakes. They look great and save my back. My largest real terracotta pot has been retired and now holds tools.
  2. Plastic Adirondack chairs. These are very comfortable to sit in and easy to move around to the sun or shade. Leave the heavy wooden ones on the porch.
  3. Wind chimes. I bought two wind chimes last year which sound beautiful clear notes at the slightest breeze. I know there are wind chime haters out there. Please don’t get in touch.
  4. Wooden spool tables. These remind me of childhood trips to the beach. There always seemed to be a couple of these, weathered to an attractive shade of grey, set up on the sand. I have a few of these and find them both beautiful and useful.
  5. Folding metal trellises. Sure the artfully arranged rustic pea sticks possibly look better. But can anyone of a certain age really be bothered with that? I prefer trellises that can be folded flat and tucked away at the end of the season. Oh and they’re infinitely reusable.
  6. Pelleted seed. Never thin a carrot again. This is a major convenience when sowing fine seeds like carrots and lettuce.
  7. Skids. These have too many uses to list here. I was recently given one of those books of pretentious, too tidy farms in France. It made me smile to see a fence made out of skids, that universal building material, beside the prettified ancient farmhouse.

Finally, the dislikes.

  1. Trendy plants. Remember ground covers? These are also known as extremely invasive plants. Many gardeners regret any involvement with these. Remember that fashion is transitory; the point of it to change all the time. Don’t bite when spring comes.
  2. Badly behaved shrubs. Common lilac is one of the worst offenders on the list of suckering monsters. It looks great on the side of the road. If you have ever successfully removed common lilac consider yourself nominated for the horticultural equivalent of the Order of Canada. Flowering quince also distinguishes itself as a suckering menace made even worse by the presence of thorns. And because this is my list of irrational dislikes, the badly behaved forsythia gets a pass here because it is one of spring’s glories.
  3. Garden bores. Ah I have saved the worst for last. Aren’t we all tired of the “you really must come and see my garden” people? Many years ago I was involved in a community garden (not in this community) where there lurked a serious garden bore. In this case, it was his tulips that he insisted everyone see. Of course, his tulips were much the same as those of his neighbours as is usually the case with these people. I discovered years later perusing his obituary that he had invented a famous herbicide that made gazillions for a Swiss pharmaceutical company. Funny how he never bragged about that.

I’m not sad to leave behind the heat and drought of 2018. Here’s hoping that the weather gods bring us more rain and less heat in the new year.

Happy 2019 everyone.

By Jill Williams

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